Trying to forget some things and cherish others

How 'bout that: two posts in one day!

I was talking to my Yo earlier today and told her about something that has been weighing heavy on my heart the last couple of days... Why is it that the first memories that come to mind when I think of Toby are negative ones?

• The times he had accidents on the carpet.
• The times I yelled at him for running out the front door.
• The times I told him to shut up because he was whining too much.
• The times he stole Little Man's snacks.
• How I don't have a single picture of him and me. At least none I'm aware of. If someone has one, PLEASE send it to me!

Negative things seem to dominate the memory bank when it comes to him and it makes me feel awful! I don't want to think about those things because I KNOW that the good memories totally outnumber the bad.

• The day I brought him home in our little doggie carseat. He and Biddle got along right away.
• He completely stopped piddling while in our care: the people that we got him from were probably abusive, when he first joined our family he would piddle whenever one of us got too close to him.
• How he and Shelby were inseparable best friends.



• If you were laying on the floor, he'd come over and lay his head on your neck and give you a "hug". He was such a little cuddle bug.
• He'd climb in your lap every single time he got the chance.
• He could get onto the dinner table when no one was looking to get to the scraps he just.had.to.have!
• He would let me dress him up however I wanted. Poor little guy was subjected to being Santa Dog a couple years back :)

• He was just so adorably chubby! Yet he could still run around like crazy with the girls and he jumped a lot higher than Biddle ever could.
• His ears were super soft. I could spend hours rubbing them... and he would let me.
• He let Little Man climb all over him and poke and prod him, and he never tried to nip him or anything.



• He slept under our bed every night. One of my irrational fears was of the bed collapsing on top of him.
• He would stand up and beg using his tail to balance and just stare at you till you pet him. MyHoney would push him over sometimes, but he'd always pop right back up again.
• He HATED having his nails cut! We had to either wrap him up in a towel to do it ourselves, or have it done at the vet.
• He was just so darn handsome!

The house feels so different now. He's no longer running around under the table while we eat, waiting for Little Man to throw his food on the floor. He isn't greeting me at the door with his special little tail wag. He isn't trying to sneak out the door to go pee on his favorite flower in the front yard.

I knew he would go eventually, but he was so young! I didn't think I'd have to deal with this for a few more years at least.

Ugh. I HATE this!